I posted this someplace else with a title "hot sand" only that was a lie. It's perfectly room-temperature sand. In fact, because of the kind of nerd that I am, it's "sea sand, washed" from Fisher scientific (which even came with a rather funny MSDS suggesting it not be ingested and that a doctor be called if it gets in your eyes..) The usual kinbaku approach would be hot wax or something unpleasant but I thought that sand would fall attractively and sure enough, it did!
She said it tickled.
So I guess it was hardship after all.