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Daily Deviation

Daily Deviation

November 22, 2008
When I saw Confronting Fears by *mjranum I immediately wanted to feature it as a DD. For the first time mjranum would then have a DD for a non-female artistic nude piece and, at the same time, for a self-portrait. Some minutes after this I got a note from the suggester. Here's an excerpt of it: "I know Marcus, very well. I know the story behind this image. That he is afraid of being fearful makes me smile and cry because he has this enormous gentle courageous heart if he only knew about it. Everything that he is, and everything that he isn't, shines through in this image." - LightEchoes's words will make much more sense if after seeing this picture you then read the artist's comments. Please do. And please appreciate this colorful male nude and original self-portrait. Surely something different from what you are accustomed to see in his gallery, I'm sure you'll love it anyway!
Featured by Helewidis
Suggested by LightEchoes
mjranum's avatar

Confronting Fears

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Description

I could bullshit you, but I won't.

I could try to hide behind a joke, but I won't do that, either.

When I shot this I was thinking about how I'd recently hurt some people that are dear to me, because I let myself get sidetracked by things I'm afraid of: questions I should have asked, information I could have offered, help I could have asked for, or - simply enough - just having the guts to say "I am a bit scared of how I feel right now." Fear of rejection, fear of saying too much, or not enough. Whatever. All the little twitches and quirks that get hammered into you during the course of life.

The joke I could have made? Yeah, I could have said "I'm uncomfortable with Camera RAW." or maybe I could have made a joke about "46 year-old 'mature content'" but I wasn't feeling funny when I shot this, and hiding behind a joke is exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about - not saying what you mean, and hiding behind a joke, is giving in to your fears.

And, I could bullshit you and sound nobler than I am; I could say some nonsense about how I ask models to confront body-image issues blah blah blah see how it feels blah blah bullshit. It would actually sound pretty good, and I might get a smattering of applause but it'd still be bullshit. Sometimes bullshitting is an art-form - a good raconteur can amplify the truth to make a tale told over a good dinner better. And then it's alright to bullshit a bit, because it's entertainment. But here it would be wrong.

What I thought was to train myself to recognize when I'm letting Fear guide my actions (instead of Desire; always listen to Desire!) (or her sister, Necessity) and to simply confront it, steam-roller it, and keep moving. So, so obvious.

This is me.

I support :icongrow-the-fck-up:
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© 2008 - 2024 mjranum
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pazuzuthewise's avatar
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
- the Bene Gesserit Litany against Fear (Frank Herbert, Dune)